Tag: shopping

Doubting my voice


One the literal side effects of the stroke is that I speak with a different voice. I know what I am trying to say, I almost hear myself in my brain say it, but I go to speak it out loud and the voice I say it in is not one I automatically recognise. I prepare by thinking what I am going to say in my normal voice, I have conversations in my brain which are normal, but when I open my mouth it isn’t the voice I imagine.

This has several effects like I cannot phone in a foreign food takeaway as I sound as if I am not taking the take away staff seriously. Do I doubt myself? Yes. I often try to put something over as best I can put it verbally. But afterwards I find doubt creeping in. I do not know if the children do not understand what I am saying or whether they are being children and listening “creatively”, (was it the stroke or my children just being that age?)

I was in a situation today where I had cause to phone an ambulance. I dialled 999 without thinking. The operator put me through, I gave the details as clearly as I could. The wind was pretty bad, I took shelter behind a parked minibus and the signal dropped. It came back and I continued to talk to the dispatcher. Soon the call was over and the ambulance was on its way. I waited at the bottom of an adjoining street in order to guide the ambulance the right way, also as not to crowd the person on the ground. As I stood there I doubted myself.

Had I made myself clear? Yes, they had said an ambulance was on the way.
Had I remembered the address of the street properly? Yes, I think so. I checked the address on my phone and I had addressed it properly.
Had they taken me seriously? I didn’t know.

I was suddenly very conscious of not being able to speak in my own voice. I thought back over the conversations where people had heard me, then my mind turned to the conversations where people hadn’t heard me, the times when I had said something and not got the responses I expected or perhaps, any responses at all. I thought of times where I was quiet. Was this being quiet a sign that I was comfortable, conscious of how when I am nervous I fill silences, or was this quiet because I didn’t know what to say or how to say it because I was scared of using my current voice and looking like a fool.

Perhaps this was summed up by two men as I waited for the ambulance. One man asked what had happened. I told him that a man was on the ground and they were looking after him. He said “What?’ meaning can you repeat it again please? I did and he said “Right” and walked off. Later a man walked passed me and said “Hello”, I said “Hello” back and he made a comment about the weather before continuing on. They’re understanding was deeper than my ability to communicate.

The speech therapist has said there is nothing medically wrong with my talking, I can make all the sounds necessary, that meeting and having conversation will help bring back my own voice. When I am not thinking about the voice or what I am going to say the old voice can come back for a few minutes. Perhaps I am too nervous around what I have to say and how I will say it. The last few years of my doctorate have been about developing my voice. It looked at how I use my voice to say something distinctive and interesting. The critique I bring is dependant on me, the stuff which makes me whoever I am. I didn’t particularly like my old voice, it was to middle-y, but it was mine. And something in my brain hears it and connects with it. I wonder what I have said distinctively in my old voice. I wonder what I can say in this current voice which is new and distinctive. I didn’t take much notice of my old voice, but now when I think of saying something I doubt myself, I think again. I need to risk to find my old voice again. I doubted myself at the best of times, but now I need to chat. I was proud I had called 999 and had a discussion conveying important information while my current voice is different. All this doubt was internal and I need to try using my voice again. Hopefully next weeks activities will take another step towards having my old voice back.

A story for the #courgettecrisis. “What They Sell In The Shops These Days” by Daniil Kharms

This is not a picture of the shops yesterday. #Fakenews

Yesterday I was involved in a discussion about the lack of courgettes in the shops, #courgettecrisis. I was urged to shop locally and eat seasonally; i was encouraged to note the advice from a mitchelin starred celebrity chef.

I dont live in a globalised, commodified, consumerist society to shop local and seasonally, I want everything cheap and available now. As for taking vegetable selection advice from a chef who is backed by the big potato lobby…

Anyway, this put me in mind of one of Daniil Kharms stories from “Incidences”.

(22) What They Sell in the Shops These Days

Koratygin came to see Tikakeyev but didn’t find him in.
At that time Tikakeyev was at the shop buying sugar, meat and cucumbers.
Koratygin hung about by Tikakeyev’s door and was just thinking of scribbling a note when he suddenly looked up to see Tikakeyev himself coming, carrying in his arms an oilskin bag.
Koratygin spotted Tikakeyev and shouted: — I’ve been waiting for you a whole hour!
— That’s not true — said Tikakeyev — I’ve only been out of the house twenty-five minutes.
— Well, I don’t know about that — said Koratygin — except that I’ve already been here a whole hour.
— Don’t tell lies — said Tikakeyev — you should be ashamed to lie.
— My dear fellow! — said Koratygin — Be so good as to be a little more particular with your expressions.
— I consider … — began Tikakeyev, but Koratygin interrupted him:
— If you consider . . . — he said, but at this point Tikakeyev interrupted Koratygin and said:
— A fine one you are!
These words put Koratygin into such a frenzy that he pressed a finger against one of his nostrils and through his other nostril blew snot at Tikakeyev.
Then Tikakeyev pulled the biggest cucumber out of his bag and hit Koratygin across the head with it.
Koratygin clutched at his head with his hands, fell down and died.
That’s the size of the cucumbers sold in the shops these days!

Details of Howies Scottish Sample Sale

Exciting news from Howies! (one of the best small clothing companies about.)

Scotland here we come

Finally, after some broken promises and premature wishes, we are on our way to Edinburgh and Glasgow to hold back-to-back sample sales.

The Edinburgh sale will be held at:

Assembly rooms
54 George Street
Edinburgh, EH2 2LR

The opening times in Edinburgh will be:

Monday 8th June – 12:30 til 6pm
Tuesday 9th June – 9:30am til 6pm
Wednesday 10th June – 9:30am til 6pm
Thursday 11th June – 9:30am til 6pm

And then we’ll pack up and head straight over to start the Glasgow sale

Unit 23, Princes Square Shopping centre
Buchanan Street
Glasgow G1 3JX

The opening times in Glasgow will be:

Friday 12th June – 12:30 til 6pm
Saturday 13th June – 9am til 6pm
Sunday 14th June – 11am til 5pm


As always, there will be tonnes on offer, including some amazing one off test-print tees from the print shop. We’ll also have the usual end of line stuff, one off samples, last in the box, shrunk, faded, and pre loved.

So make sure you get there before the lot is gone. Oh and bring a bag to carry your new stuff home safely (we don’t give out bags).

Hope to see you there.

Categories: events shopping wonderin

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Christian Bookshop’s

Yesterday I had the occasion to go looking in a christian bookshop. This particular christian bookshop is quite popular, but having not been in a christian bookshop for a year or so it was laugh out loud funny. I did laugh several times. I also felt quite sad about some of the stuff there. As I wondered around the shop, my thoughts turned to the shop I was in, how different was it from any other book store. How easy would it be to wonder in and not be able to identify it was a christian book store. (This isn’t a problem for the other main christian book stores in Glasgow. One is in the basement of a church, the other is staffed by Nun’s, thats a dead giveaway.)

So I present the top five ways to know you are in a christian bookshop.


You find a book called DEEP “The call of Deep Church is not just for theologians and church leaders; it is also about each individual Christian experiencing and knowing that Jesus rescues from the depths and changes them deeply” this book is written by an author called Frog.
If you name is Frog you should be being one of three things. Living on a lily pad eating flies, Trucking in your big rig or on the run from the police. Possibly not authoring a book on DEEP Christianity or pastoring a large church in London.

on giant over sized Video screen and other monitors, there is DVD playing of an elderly gentleman in shirt and tie, slightly out of focus, serenading a range of mountains. but the music being played instore bares no relation to the video on the screen.


You find that Siku’s The Manga Bible is filed under “Bibles”. Not in the Anime/Manga Section. possibly because they don’t have an Anime/Manga section.

You find a box set of Johnny Cash. Reading the entire New Testament. (only £36.50 in a translation I had never heard of before)


You find a copy of the Worshiptogether.com’s “The essential modern worship fakebook”.
To be honest I applaud the way they are condemning modern worship as fake, or i detest the way they are helping people fake modern worship. I haven’t quite made my mind up yet.

So how do you know you are in a christian bookshop or what stopped you going or trying?


I left the college library around 5pm, it was raining and cold. Darkness had descended. I was quite happy about the amount of work i had got done in the Library.

I walked to the car, out the back gate, drove off but something wasn’t right. I stopped t discover a flat tyre, front drivers side. I decided to change it. no hassle. I could still get to pick up Jacob on time. I knelt down in the wet and started to use the wrench to turn the nuts to free the tyres. The wrench slipped and my hands hit the tar. I got some cuts in my hand. I tried and tried but to no avail. after about 15 minutes I called my wife to pick up Jacob as I wasn’t going to make it.

I continued to try. The wrench just kept on slipping, I couldn’t get a grip. Eventually I got One nut off. The second nut came quickly afterwards. But nut three and four just wouldn’t move. I continued try. for over an hour i tried until I was cold, sore, cut and physically tired. I decided to walk to some shops to see if i could find a shop with tools to help.

I went safe in the hazy knowledge of a style of shop i was looking for was at a local industrial estate. The shop i was looking for had moved it was now a one-pound style store. I managed to get some lubricant for the nut in an effort to get it off. I walked back to the car. I sprayed the lubricant. All it succeeded in doing helping the wrench slip off all the more easier.

I made some calls.

I got in a minister friend who lives in the local area. He was heading to a meeting about funerals, but managed to make the trip to help me out. He came and was happy to help. we changed the tyre and swapped stories about different times when we didn’t have the tools to do the job.

The help was good and got the job done in a good atmosphere and reasonably quickly.

I called home. We were needing shopping in from the local superstore. I drove there and got around , reasonably quickly considering it was 7.30pm by the time I arrived. I got the check out, and started to unload the trolley. The girl on the till, stated scanning and packing my purchases. Usual procedure in this store is the assistant says hello, and then asks If you want help packing my bag. She never asked.

I continued unpacking my trolley. I stopped and walked down to pack my bags. I thought the assistant would stop then. But no she decided to throw things down quickly without giving me the chance to pack a bag. when she assumed I had enough for a bag, she then started to pack another bag for me. Eventually it was done I packed my trolley, paid and headed for the car. I packed the car with the 11 bags of shopping. I drove home and tried to walk up the stairs. I have recently worked out 8 bags is the optimum number for managing up the stairs. With 11 I struggled. really struggled.

So two types of help. One asked for, One not asked for. One was good, helpful and got the job done quickly, the other was bad, annoying and got the job done quickly.

Strange how different types of help can differ so much.

Categories: shopping

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Saturday morning

saturday morning was spent going round the antiques warehouse at yorkhill quay in Glasgow. it was a good time with my brother and father in law. I enjoyed threir company and my Father In Laws knowledge ofthe usless and the bizarre was in high demand. (chest of drawerswith hidden Kilt drawers. (, like WTF?.

Particualerly good was the stock of the Flying dutchman . The Dutchman seems to have continental stock. using different woods and finished to the UK and Far east market.

very good

Also impresive wassamsons joinery The range was good with antique and original items. I particualtly liked the CD cases. (well of course i would.) they were tall and blended in well. thus hiding the mass of cd’s you could own. good idea I could be in the market for two of them. depneidng on how much they cost of course.

Later we headed to Glasgow Architectural Salvage. What a place. everythign old and in bits with an amazing selection of doors and stained glass and raidiators.

I metally decided to buy old radiators for our next house. I am firmly of the belie that helen will sit on the radiators If i get ones she can sit on. so sit on them she must.

anyway we ended up at Frankie & Benny’s for lunch and a good time was had by all

thanks to those involved.

please note. if you intend going to either of this shops/warehouses take warm clothing. they can be very cold.

Categories: shopping small news

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