Tag: wonderin

Young people, spirituality and the online

It all started with radio4’s programme about yoga. As the guy wittered on about the problem of yoga being both a spiritual discipline and a franchised business. How can you franchise spirituality? Was his question, I thought the church of Scotland (or any denomination) have effectively done it for years so what’s the problem?

As I listened I started to wonder why young people haven’t caught onto yoga as a spiritual discipline. Why when you hit 20’s and beyond does yoga start to become something accessible and open to you. What are the barriers to this experience. Why do young people not respond to it? Are young people spiritual in a specifically adolescent way? Is it cultural norms rather than spiritual norms which close the door?

As I thought about this I wondered about young people.
I believe young people, like every person is inherently spiritual. Has a curiosity about spiritual things and develops ways of being/ acting/ understandings which reflect this.
Yet one main stream spiritual activity, which has dual benefits, and seeming agnostic view of religion, seems not to hit the spot.

What does hit the spot. What is the language of this spot and where does it exist/ can it accessed. My suspicion is that it is a foreign country, they do things differently there,(as someone once remarked.) I wonder what it looks like, what it sounds like, what it feels like?

Could it be online.
I wonder.


I just don’t get this linkage, or this attitude which esteems success as the thing to be copied. Inspired by reading about abraham, jacob, moses, I have been thinking a lot about failure. Recently I was at on a course. The first session leader told us about failure being useful and being key to learning, how failure is valuable and worthwhile to seeing how things can be done better. In short how to change and learn. Yet to fail or to be perceived as a failure is very negative.

In fact failure is to be avoided and thrown away as worthless. In the second session of the course I was on, (a different leader,) every example used, esteemed and praised was one of external success. I wonder if you get more press coverage if you are a celebrity who has a high profile success of if you have a high profile failure. I think you get more for failure, but that just reinforces the position of failure being bad.

I just don’t know where this leaves us.
I fail
I struggle with feeling that those failures are negative.
sometimes they are, sometimes, though.

I think my life is/can/will be positive. I think I have changed and learned and grown through those failures. I also choose to think any success I am perceived to have is down to those failures. (Unlike mr Jordan in the advert above not sure I have had the same level of career he has had!)

I think the concept of confession has a lot going for it in terms of disabling this failure is bad position. where grace, love and forgiveness are present and available for all. Where failures like myself can be rested and cared for.

Within the act of confession is rest renewing, a casting off of that you are carrying. The verbalisation of a failure has a big effect on the spirit. Perhaps thats why so many public speakers start off with a story which could be perceived as a confession. (A joke which self denigrates.)

Wonder what an ethic of failure would look like.
I wonder what a theology of failure could work up as…

Advent 4 – Happiness, a song

Currently I am thinking about happiness.
I think it is a key conceptaround living and how society icurrently organisess itself. (more on that tomorrow!)
So are an intro some interesting lyrics about happiness from Ron Sexsmith’s retriever album.

“Happiness so hard to come by
So good while it lasts
Some people say
That it ain’t worth pursuing
Cos’ it’s always moving too fast

Still I wonder
What could it be
And I wonder
What does it mean
Cos’ I’m so in love with you
If this ain’t happiness baby it’ll do
Let’s call it happiness

Happiness so hard to deal with
When there is sadness in your eyes
As you come through the door
It may leap out of the darkness
It’s always yelling “Surprise!”

So I wonder
What does it mean
And I wonder
Why me
Cos I’m so in love with you
If this ain’t happiness baby it’ll do
Let’s call it happiness

Oh there’s no denying
It’s one of those things
That money can’t buy
But still we try

May we all mop up
And our cup runneth over
May we all have
More than enough of

Cos I’m so in love with you
If this ain’t happiness baby it’ll do
Let’s call it happiness

Happiness, by ron sexsmith.

don’t talk about Love.


at school yesterday Mr Beggs let a session around Love. Using the second Nooma video “Flame!” where rob bell drives abit, walks abit carrying manstuff, and then burns a massive amount of trees.
Anyway before we watched the Rob Bell speak Hebrew alot, Mr Beggs got us do do some exercises on Love.

Firstly list ten things you love.
I decided to list ten things I love which are not related, or lived in by me.
1 Blu Tac
2 Concrete
3 Shrews (we have one in the garden)
4 Frogs (we have 4 in the garden)
5 Tress (we… you can guess the sentence)
6 Bed. (I don’t live in it but it is nice)
7 Reading books (some what aspirational for me)
8 Quizzes
9 Flags (such simple things but great design within a very strict set of rules.)
10 thoughts. (can never have enough)

after this he asked us to list all the songs, movies and books with love in the title. I won’t repeat all my answers for this but suffice to say I did OK.

the most interesting part of this though was the third part where he asked us to listen to 6 songs about love and write down our thoughts ideas or questions. This led to a real big number of questions. If you can answer them, then please do so!

– What does it take to Love something (inanimate object) is it the association of someone you love or and experience which creates love for that object?
– Can you Believe in Love? (separating Love as a concept of God)
– Is love experience or faith?
– Whats the relationship between alcohol and love?
– Can love be “Kidding Love” or is it always “serious love”
– Is Love an agent of Uncontrollable urges?
– Is love external to ourselves?
– What is Love?
– Do we sustain others with our Love. (You’ve got the love I need to see me through?)
– Do we only have a finite amount of loveand beyond that limit we are out of Love?

Wonderin’ ’bout…


various thoughts i need to empty my head of…
Is Micheal Martin’s resignation enough?
Is Yulia Tymoschek actually good looking?
Is anyone surprised that a group of people who’s job it is to write and look for loopholes in Laws found and exploited loopholes in a rulebook?
If I object so much to a cashless society, (boo, evil banks & info collecting credit companies!), why is carrying cash such a hassle?
Why does a new battery for my MacBook from apple cost around £140?
Why can’t I remember more swahili?
Is a “none of the above” option on a ballot paper actually nothing masquerading as something?
Why can’t I be better?
Is Daniels being influences to much by Lester and Bunk?

answers to the usual address on a postcard or the back of a sealed-down envelope.

Categories: wonderin


Do we use her as much as TV does?

Yesterday it was suggested that for a youth work session I was taking yesterday I could use Susan Boyle as a my theme and make a big point over her.

I didn’t like it as an idea and said no. I just don’t like it as a story/point.
Due to all the hype I know what she looks like, but like Paul Potts before her, i have missed the performance and the event totally.

Cheryl Lawrie posted this on her blog yesterday

I was as moved as anyone, but wordy, the woman just wants to sing. Do we have to make her the pin-up girl to promote all our own moral agendas? Aren’t we just using her as much as the show is itself?

I am inclined to agree with her entirely.

Was I heretical?


On Thursday there, I did a small 15 minute service for the church in Lanark, (I ran over by 1 minute.) The congregation was totalled eight, and they seemed to listen and be quiet, and follow instructions as I requested. The service was a form of carols and lessons, but an Easter Holy Week version. I used a Christmas songs which spoke of different aspects of God’s human incarnation. I used readings about Christs priesthood from the end of Hebrews. And meditations from Father Richard Rohr.

I went okay, but at the end one of congregation decided he felt strongly enough tell myself and everyone else where I was wrong and where I had went wrong with what I had said. (With details and rhetorical questions!)

This week I have thought about that a lot. As I thought about it I still am puzzled. Did I really confirm a belief which was heretical?
If I was misheard is that a problem with me or with the hearer?
Did I react well to the situation. (I sat quietly and listened.)
Why do I need to understand how the problem occurred?
Why did I feel, annoyed, upset, unsure, happy, nervous or puzzled about the whole thing?

I dunno.
I do think you need Heresy to work out and deal with orthodoxy otherwise we would all be keeping the religious laws as detail in Leviticus. I am also unsure about the prospect of being Heretical necessarily being a terrible thing. At the same time I am unsure about how my employers (a church), would feel about me being heretical?

It was an interesting experience.
But not easy.

Categories: church wonderin

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The desertification of South Lanarkshire!

not the best photo but hey!
not the best photo but hey!

Can anyone tell me why South Lanarkshire Council, or the electricity infrastructure maintenance contractor in south lanarkshire is painting all the electricity pylons a light sand colour?

i fear Global warming is going to get much worse, and our electricity company/council are warning us subtly!

Categories: wonderin


Wonderin (random stream of thoughts.)

This may take a while so settle back and enjoy the ride-

i haven’t blogged for a while.

I have my reasons. Work has been mostly terrible. feel like i am being kicked around by everyone just now.

in amongst this i have intense moments o clarity and self doubt and loathing. I don’t think i am great.
I don’t think i am terrible.
I think i mostly reach normal.
maybe even over achieve and reach normal.

I guess their is a part of me which always seeks the unachievable.

brilliance, the desolation complete of failure.
I haven’t been punished enough for the crimes i have committed, yet i am not in a good place.

I dunno exactly what can and cannot be said. so I try.
I speak
I listen
I try and be silent.
yet reticence has proved to be no friend.

sometimes i worry.
sometimes i don’t

subconsciously though my mind works, considers and thinks.

I fell over today. my own fault. my knee now hurts.
Yet my reaction was to laugh walk away and ignore the offers of help.
I sometimes people don’t hear me.
my vocabulary becomes prohibitive to people.

should i speak differently to aid communication?
would that even be me?

JD says “change doesn’t mean bad, it just means different.”
Leaving certainty. it makes me sad.

Fight is needed.
A desire to work from all.
Yet how can it be that a desire to work can lead to such frustration and disappointment.

i love this song
Over The Rhine, constantly speak my language.

I hate how things are
I have the suspicion, the disappointment, the crushing feeling of failure, the lack of support.

the kitchen is disappearing. stuff is everywhere.
the house is cold and draughty.

i want so much, more that we have, can ever hope for. more than i deserve.

I need so much.
to exercise
to feel good
to move

this week is good
holiday resting
tearing apart the kitchen – tiring- in a different way.


i need to read more

I want to do better, I want to try Harder. I want to believe, down to the letter.

perhaps I should change.
perhaps that would make life better
perhaps i should be different.

more like those who seem annoyed i am not different.

i seek to be more like those i know i cannot be like.

more like Helen.
as vivacious as Louise
as cool as Sarah b
as comfortable as Carolann
as fit as rich
as friendly as Fraser.
as funny as Jackie
as excitable as Sarah z.
alot like other people i like, peter, nick, Susan, Sarah c, Denise, Simon, Alice, Jenn, Cat, Alison.

perhaps i should realise i am who i am.
i know who i am.
distracted. i wander.
trying to concentrate and failing miserably.

perhaps I need a rest.

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